Being Myself part 2

Hello Readers,

Just wanted to share that I’m on a journey back to being myself. What do I mean by that? Well, pretty much ever since becoming a Mom, as probably most of you can relate, I’ve found that I’m drifting ever so slowly away from being myself – or rather, taking some time for ‘me time’. And yes, I do feel the guilt start to rise whenever I try to start doing something and of course a little one starts calling out my name or something else needs my attention. But as my hubby pointed out, he’s not playing the guilt trip thing anymore as a dad, so I shouldn’t do that to myself as a mom either. I need to shift my thinking as I’ve always found it easier to do stuff for others before doing stuff for myself. I think a lot of that has to do with different disappointments I’ve experienced in childhood and life afterwards, but it doesn’t mean it has to end that way. We all can take small steps to ensure that we don’t burnout because we’re ignoring ourselves completely. And let’s face it, it’s so easy to do this as a mom (or dad). I find though that moms just always worry about everyone else’s needs first, as I believe this is how we were made, as the typically supportive role, and emotionally it’s how we operate. We worry about everyone making sure they have their stuff before leaving the house that we often, (I believe), forget to take or do something for ourselves. At least that’s what I find for myself many times. And it’s frustrating, but I brush it off and try again the next day. On top of this, in the midst of soccer games, other events and everyday life, I find I just don’t have the energy to do anything I want to do for myself at the end of the day. And the idea of waking up extra early just to do them doesn’t really sound good to me either, but I also realize I need a bit of encouragement. I admit that. I’m so good at encouraging others to follow their dreams, but when it comes to myself, I tend to give up too soon or just leave things be. It’s just easier I guess not to be disappointed yet again. Like today, when I went to use the rest of a can of spray on primer to hopefully spray one side of a room divider I made, I was only able to coat two thirds of one side before I ran out of paint. Now I need to wait until I can afford more. But I’m going to try again… so please pray that I continue to enjoy the rest of the life God gave me in a way that is pleasing to Him and part of that is by enjoying being me. Thank you. I hope I’ve been able to reach out and touch at least one other soul out there who’s struggling with the same thing. Perhaps we can encourage each other?

Blessings,

Roxy

Learning to Be Me

Hi,

How is your weekend so far? Mine has been pretty exhausting but in a good way, just happy that things are getting done including kicking my own butt to get in shape again. ;p But that’s for another blog entry… What I want to express today is my sheer thanks to God that I am me, and no one else. Not in a big headed kind of way, (as anyone who knows me can easily vouch for me), I am learning that it’s okay to be myself. May sound silly to many people, as I am an adult and should already have discovered that a long time ago. But unfortunately as happens in many people’s lives, sometimes we let past failures, bad comments, or our own fears control us into thinking we have to just be like everyone else – as in dress like everyone else, do our hair like everyone else, talk like everyone else and like what everyone else likes, when in fact that is so not true. Even as a Mommy blogger, I feel compelled to make my blog look like everyone else’s blog, but I am forcing myself to just make it the way I want to, as I would be giving in to yet more people pleasing. Well, you can follow me along in this adventure of life, as I learn to be myself, and not to rely on my own strength or talents, but to go where the Lord leads me. Yes, it’s true I’m Christian, and I am happy to be so. Do not let me intimidate you, but rather share what I have learned in my walk so far and what I keep learning in my walk with God.

As our pastor pointed out today, we all have failed in many areas, but God has plans for each of us, and we need to keep getting up when we fall. It’s not the falling that should be our focus, as everyone falls at some point, but it should be our getting back up that we should make sure we focus on and asking God for His Strength and Guidance. But I digress, what I want to share with all of you is that indeed, I will not always agree with your choices, and you will not always agree with mine, however, can we agree that when someone makes a statement about something that is important to them, to try to avoid knocking that other person’s opinion? It’s quite easy actually, it’s called listening. I need to work on listening and not interrupting too, so I’m not perfect. But since I have trouble expressing myself without feeling bad about it after, can we agree that we are all different which is fine, and that when someone is doing something that is just a matter of personal style or taste, that we leave our bad comments to ourselves? That’s something I think we can all achieve. Afterall, isn’t the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” I thought we all learned that in kindergarten or maybe earlier. I’m sure we all teach our kids that, so why can’t we follow through with it? Is it that hard not to say something when you disagree with someone? I mean, unless someone is asking for your opinion, or if something is dangerous in some way, should we not encourage each other to be ourselves and to feel safe expressing our feelings? Should I have to hide my feelings or dress a certain way/act a certain way to gain other’s approval? Or should I feel like I’m less of a person because every time I say something that’s important to me, someone else knocks me down? No. Clearly not, as God does not want us to live in fear, or to pretend to be someone we’re not. I hope at least one person reading this will remember that they are a child of God, who purposely made us each different for His Own Purposes, and that He delights in our uniqueness, not in being anyone else. It is our uniqueness that makes us who we are, and if each of us would feel free to just be ourselves, there would be so much creativity flowing in this world, and beauty. Alas, there will always be critics, which is fine, but please allow for freedom of expression, please do not supress the beauty that is in another individual just because you do not agree with it. I mean, if you’re good at judging others, that is something you need to work on, but please be courteous to others. I am also working on taking the brunt of negativity and rudeness and whatever else the world throws at me, and saying to myself, “Just breathe… do not focus on it, but focus on God’s Truth and Love.” Unforgiveness and hurt can well up inside so easily, especially I think for women as we are really emotional creatures, (my husband can attest to this), and we need to stop and think before we criticize others or ourselves. We need to stop living like robots and start living like the women God made us to be, strong in Christ and free to be individuals in all ways. So as this blog title states, I’m learning to be me, and I’m happy with that decision, so there!
*grins* Now to walk it… please pray for me that I keep remembering this on a daily basis and that I allow myself to do so.

With Love,

Roxy